It's as American as...

There's a colloquialism that we use when we want to describe anything that's particularly American, like monster trucks or John Wayne or NASCAR: "It's as American as apple pie." I think that's a mischaracterization. Apples, in fact, originated in the Old World. They're technically not American at all! I think the saying should go, "It's as American as pumpkin pie with Cool Whip on top." Pumpkins did originate in the Americas and were cultivated by the native populations long before the Europeans arrived. And Cool Whip, my friends, Cool Whip... it doesn't get any more American than Cool Whip. You may think it's a pale imitation of true whipped cream, but our moms and our grandmas served us Cool Whip by the tubful, darn it, so that's what we love and you'll never convince us otherwise! (Speaking for myself, I could sit and eat the stuff with a spoon. Your scorn falls on deaf ears.) There is no more American pairing than pumpkin pie and Cool Whip on Thanksgiving. In fact, if you look at the Wikipedia page for Cool Whip, you'll see a picture of, you guessed it, pumpkin pie with Cool Whip. I REST MY CASE.

I'm starting a revolution. From now on, any time I hear someone say, "It's as American as apple pie," I will set them straight.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving! We had a wonderful, filling meal and ended the evening with... pumpkin pie and Cool Whip, of course! :^)