Virtual Reality

Do you like my perfect dining room? Just kidding, it's not real, it's IKEA. Today I did some family portraits in Denver, and on the way home I stopped there to buy a small piece of furniture that I needed for my sewing room. I used to love IKEA, I think chiefly because we didn't have one anywhere near here. Any time I was in a city that had an IKEA (Phoenix, L.A., etc), I'd make it a point to go and gawk like a tourist at a museum, then buy some cleverly designed item with an unpronounceable name for myself or my brother. A few years ago we finally got an IKEA in south Denver, only about a 45 minute drive from here, traffic permitting. And I think it's safe to say that the novelty has officially worn off for me. Now it's more of a love-hate relationship. Ha! These days I look at going to IKEA as something of a chore, to be dispensed with as quickly as possible. I can trace this back to the time I actually got lost in there and couldn't find the exit. The place is GIGANTIC. Really, you can see it from outer space. I decided that they must purposely design the layout of the store to be as confusing as possible, so you're trapped, wandering around aimlessly, all the while seeing more and more stuff that you can't live without. The final straw was when we were renovating our bathroom a couple of years ago, and I needed two simple things: a matching cup and soap dispenser. Alas, it took three (agonizing) trips to IKEA to accomplish the purchase of these inconsequential accessories. Now when I'm there I scurry through the bathroom décor section as if it's contaminated with radiation. I want no part of it, I tell you!

I also think that there's something slightly sinister about all the little vignettes at IKEA, like the one in the photo above. They're too perfect. You almost feel like a two dimensional cardboard family lives there, complete with a pair of small children with tousled blond mops, and they only come out when everyone goes home for the night.

There is one thing I like about IKEA, lest you think I'm only here to gripe today. I like the cafeteria with its bland, overly salty food. Is it bad that I like IKEA food? I make no apologies! Here's a picture of my lunch!

And now, for your listening pleasure...